The Top 10 Reasons WHY I Am No Longer Married

1. He DID have a FEW redeeming qualities, but when you're grown, sometimes YOU grow OUT....if you've been there, you WILL understand.
2. I hated coming home to the remnants of his "home-grown" lobotomies. YES, he would sit on the toilet after eating too much beef and get bored. RATHER than taking the paper in to read the darned thing, he'd drill like he was "hittin' oil." Roll it up nicely so it was PERFECTLY round and then SMUSH it on the wall over the hanger for the toilet paper. Which, when I lived with him ALWAYS had a roll on it....yes, folks, SNOT! From a FULLY grown human being. I spent nearly 15 minutes one day scrubbing it off of the bathroom wall! Drove me nuts!
3. My dislike for being confused with serial killers'/terrorists (insert derogatory description here) girlfriends/wives/concubines (thank you, "MISS I Was In Les Miz at one point in time.)
4. He played gay ALL TOO WELL! Rather than a soccer player, maybe YOU should have been an full-time professional actor as well.
5. No, I do NOT like being recorded having sex ALL the time by my neighbors with the person I am married to, especially not when the scripts and resulting situations wind up ALL over the BBC and ABC WITHOUT me being paid for the dialogue, which I might add is a lot more interesting when I write it than when your sound recording equipment is NOT running.
6. Well, let's put it this way, the redhead from Canada and me have been confused with each other WAAAAAY too many times for my own personal comfort and safety.
7. Old chorus queens who desire to make their money by spreading their rumors about me and my family in whatever restaurant he is working in at the time tend to make me nauseous.
8. I am NOT Puerto Rican or Moroccan born, although I have been connected to Morocco through my Dad's work, and mine (which was with the musician formerly known as Cat Stevens, and The Getty Family's stepbrother, and am ALSO not a prostitute, but a trained actress (RADA, Scotland, AFI, The Neighborhood Playhouse, Broadway, The West End, The Hollywood System, Italy's Spoleto Festival, Greece, and more), dancer, and musician, unlike the rumor that he apparently believed before he met me.
9. Being followed by everyone from Pakistan that harassed my cousins before they met me REALLY got on my nerves after 9.11.
10. I am NOT Karola and also NOT her daughter or sibling and REFUSE to be a Spanish nor an English SLAVE...Eat your heart out!

I just got to check out the Things I Hate About My Flat Mate site and NZ, I CAN relate! However, we still got along nicely as friends. Some folks are just younger emotionally than others.

Signed, 

Karen's fake daughter.... YES, I do sound like Betty Boop to SOME people.